The purpose of this blog is to praise God. Seems simple enough, right? The truth is it has its shortcomings. For one thing, my mandate in starting the thing is kind of doomed to mediocrity; I can't possibly write about everything He blesses me with, even the tiny fraction I notice. Also, there are some things I should thank Him for every day, and on this occasion I realize that I fall short in that area as well. But the balance is in taking Him seriously, surrendering my entire self to Him, and dedicating some time every day to fellowshiping with Him in prayer (still working on all three as disciplines). But I would be remiss if I didn't praise Him for what is a very special anniversary for me.
Two years ago this day, there was a man who was under the thumb of drugs and depression, dead in transgression, with the wrath of God poised to crush him. And out of sheer grace and love, Jesus Christ made such a powerful appeal that this undeserving fellow actually decided to take a chance on following God. It was in my bedroom, having picked up a Bible that had been given me some three years earlier by Monte and Natalie, following a chat I had with their parents. I tried reading it in 2004, but I was judgmental and foolish in my heart at the time. But when I cracked it again on 11 October 2007, something different happened. I just... plain... believed. That too was a gift from heaven. I was suddenly gripped with this intense joy, like a million childhood Christmases. It was freedom. This heat filled my entire being, even my "dead" skin cells like hair (what I had of the stuff!). It was an encounter, to be sure.
I've since learned that I can't "convince" people of what happened. I hope and pray that those of you who know me have observed some changes in my life, because I've had to interpret them as happening within every component that composes "me." And it's been surreal to say the least. But it happened. If you are among my brothers and sisters in the Lord, be encouraged. Praise Him. He is faithful. If you happen to have stumbled onto this by any chain of events, I would tell you to ask Him for the same thing, but it has to be from a place of faith. At least that was my experience. I don't know why He chose the time He did, or the circumstances, but He worked within the context of all my horrible choices and my limitless sin. So I know it can happen for anyone.
Please don't read any arrogance into this post. I can certainly slip into modalities of pride, and it happens more frequently than I'd care to admit. But this post is special to me. It's a time to pause and reflect upon just how much God has done for me in two short years. I have more friends than I made in the preceding 27. I have been more involved in my community and in personal development than I ever cared about prior to my conversion experience. I have an absolute lust for life (real life, not the kind I lived before I felt the Holy Spirit dwell inside me) than I thought possible. And I praise God for all these things.
9 October 2009
I would also mention, because I am in the habit of combining posts, and because this is a special praise note indeed, that I received the pleasure of my friend Devin's company on Friday. He was passing through the area, and, as always, I refrain from using last names. But he's been a dear brother to me, and it was great to get caught up. God constantly finds ways to wink and wave at me through divine appointments, and I have felt Him tugging at my heart with more conviction all the time. This year will be a tremendous challenge; I say that with a great degree of ignorance because I won't know until it's past. But I can say that I have every reason to trust in His faithfulness, and I hope you all will praise Him for how He saved you too or has made provision for it!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Briercrest in Perspective
Going backwards again.
5 October 2009 (10:34 p.m.)
God has a way about Him that is impossible to describe, but I shall try to offer a keyhole's glimpse. I just had a very odd experience reading about Christian history. The curriculum covers 2000 years of history over two semesters, so we necessarily study hundreds of years at a time. In other words, broadly. But the past few weeks have been a slower pace, and we've been trapped in the fourth century learning about Constantine and the Council of Nicaea, and such pillars as Athanasius, Basil of Caesarea, Gregory of Nyssa, Gregory of Nazianzus, and Ambrose of Milan. (After suffering through the half-Christian works of Justin Martyr, Origen, et al, it's kind of nice to encounter five in a row that seem to have their theology in order.) But I was suddenly swooned by the Spirit in reading about how Ambrose had been a governor when the Roman Empire was swamped in Arianism (which argued that Christ was created) and was elected bishop because of his popularity. In spite of the fact he wasn't even a believer. And to read some of his statements in defense of the faith is just, well, beautiful. God took hold of him. And when I got the part about how he baptized a young fellow by the name of Augustine, who had been drifting from his faith, it just makes me feel so intimately conscious of how my faith is not a product of the twenty-first century. There is a continuum that started before creation, and God has invited me into it despite my infinite unworthiness (that's the only infinite part of us humans). And for what it's worth, I felt compelled to share that.
5 October 2009 (2:00 a.m.)
I was trying to pull an all-nighter when the power suddenly went out. It was frustrating, but it focused me on God at a time when I probably would have been content to "get some work done." We were overdue for a good heart to heart, not for a lack of effort on His part. The truth is, being at such an academically rich college is a double-edged sword. Because this place is accredited and all my courses can be instantly transferred to several Canadian universities, the requirements tend to be study heavy--which can bury the discipleship and practical elements at times. On more than a few occasions God has seemed as if He were an otherworldly object of study, rather than a personal, jealous Creator who burns with love for us. At present I am struggling to finish some weekly reading for tomorrow, and I will probably be permitted to stay up a little later than the ideal (though not as late as this morning). So, with that in mind, it's nice when God forces the issue onto us that we are to keep things in check and our eyes focused on Him.
Last week
Seriously, God has blessed me so much that I would have to multiply the hours in a day to report it all. All I can do to compensate is make a very generalized statement about how wonderful it is to be surrounded by wonderful and genuine people. I couldn't name them all, but He sends them my way in a flurry of divine appointments every passing day, and He should be recognized and praised for His faithfulness in this.
5 October 2009 (10:34 p.m.)
God has a way about Him that is impossible to describe, but I shall try to offer a keyhole's glimpse. I just had a very odd experience reading about Christian history. The curriculum covers 2000 years of history over two semesters, so we necessarily study hundreds of years at a time. In other words, broadly. But the past few weeks have been a slower pace, and we've been trapped in the fourth century learning about Constantine and the Council of Nicaea, and such pillars as Athanasius, Basil of Caesarea, Gregory of Nyssa, Gregory of Nazianzus, and Ambrose of Milan. (After suffering through the half-Christian works of Justin Martyr, Origen, et al, it's kind of nice to encounter five in a row that seem to have their theology in order.) But I was suddenly swooned by the Spirit in reading about how Ambrose had been a governor when the Roman Empire was swamped in Arianism (which argued that Christ was created) and was elected bishop because of his popularity. In spite of the fact he wasn't even a believer. And to read some of his statements in defense of the faith is just, well, beautiful. God took hold of him. And when I got the part about how he baptized a young fellow by the name of Augustine, who had been drifting from his faith, it just makes me feel so intimately conscious of how my faith is not a product of the twenty-first century. There is a continuum that started before creation, and God has invited me into it despite my infinite unworthiness (that's the only infinite part of us humans). And for what it's worth, I felt compelled to share that.
5 October 2009 (2:00 a.m.)
I was trying to pull an all-nighter when the power suddenly went out. It was frustrating, but it focused me on God at a time when I probably would have been content to "get some work done." We were overdue for a good heart to heart, not for a lack of effort on His part. The truth is, being at such an academically rich college is a double-edged sword. Because this place is accredited and all my courses can be instantly transferred to several Canadian universities, the requirements tend to be study heavy--which can bury the discipleship and practical elements at times. On more than a few occasions God has seemed as if He were an otherworldly object of study, rather than a personal, jealous Creator who burns with love for us. At present I am struggling to finish some weekly reading for tomorrow, and I will probably be permitted to stay up a little later than the ideal (though not as late as this morning). So, with that in mind, it's nice when God forces the issue onto us that we are to keep things in check and our eyes focused on Him.
Last week
Seriously, God has blessed me so much that I would have to multiply the hours in a day to report it all. All I can do to compensate is make a very generalized statement about how wonderful it is to be surrounded by wonderful and genuine people. I couldn't name them all, but He sends them my way in a flurry of divine appointments every passing day, and He should be recognized and praised for His faithfulness in this.
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