Divine Appointments

Admittedly, this has been a long, arduous summer. I'm trying my best to take it to heart so I don't neglect some of the many lessons that have been thrust upon me, but it's been a very discouraging, lonely process at times. I've come to realize that what I choose for myself is way less wonderful than what God has planned for me, and I sometimes get lost in daydreaming about and resenting what I don't have, taking my eyes off the Lord and His good intentions.

Lately, I've started a gym routine again, so I can have a reason to get up every morning other than to study and check off one more day on the calendar that separates me from Bible college. After being notified of my acceptance, I briefly looked at this place with fresh eyes, praying for people I would soon have to bid farewell and trying to burn a few scenes onto my retinas. But that romantic naivete soon caved in and I became quite scornful in my attitude. As it was last year, my books and theology were failing me. But this time I didn't surrender to all my old temptations; I just resolved to never spend another summer like this, even if it meant never spending another one here. And that, quite honestly, hasn't changed. I would never return to this place if I could find a job elsewhere--provided there would be other reasons to live outside here. Yeah, I could work here, but that's about it. Everything breaks for the summer. So I really do have nothing to anchor me here, in spite of the fact that God has granted me some great, albeit incidental at times, friendships.

But last night I bumped into someone who spoke quite profoundly into my life, and although it was no coincidence, it was still beyond what I expected when, at 4:00 p.m., God nudged me and said I should stop into Tim Horton's on my way home from a scheduled meeting. Which I did. And God was there. It took three hours to break away from that conversation. It was necessary. And perfectly timed. And I know I serve a God like that. In spite of how I've deprived Him of certain glory by failing to update this more often.

Anyway, the future is wide open, and a new chapter begins for me in a few weeks. And for that I wholeheartedly praise Him.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)